Theme for 2024: Water
A post about New Year's Resolutions, water aerobics, hydration obsession and Garry Maddox
So … have we given up on our New Year’s Resolutions yet?
Instead of a straight New Year’s Resolution, I’ve decided on a theme for 2024. The theme is water. I want to drink it more … and play in it more.
In the final week of 2023, I went to a water aerobics class at my gym. The group was what you’d expect: me and two women in their 70s. (Nothing says, “I’m getting old” more than going to a water aerobics class and being the youngest person in the pool by 20 years.)
The instructor told me the story of using water aerobics to build up the strength in his body after beating cancer. He also talked a lot about his ex-wife, how they created a water rehabilitation program together, how much time they spent together now, and how he likes her more now than when they were married. He calls her his “y” instead of his “ex.” It was adorable.
The class was fun. I highly recommend it. I enjoyed the workout, cardio and some water-resistance training. I decided to do it more often, make it a theme for 2024. So far, I’m off to an okay start. I have returned to the water aerobics class once (it was me, six women in their 70s, and a guy in his 60s) and swam laps for about 20 minutes another day.
I have a complicated relationship with swimming. I enjoy doing it, yet I’m terrible at it. I mean, I’m good at not drowning. But all I can do is the breaststroke and if you ever saw a video of me, you’d think it was in slow motion.
I do love water. Oceans and lakes and streams. I like hot tubs and natural hot springs. I like me a lazy river and I really like me a water park. I once drove six hours, round-trip, on a day off to visit Schlitterbahn in Texas all by myself.
I’m drawn to water. When I go on a walk in the different city, I’ll look on Google Maps for something blue — a pond, a man-made lake, a small stream, anything, to make the walk more memorable. When I go back to California to visit, if I’m anywhere near the coast, I usually get myself to the ocean, even if it’s just for a look or a smell of the salt water.
I met someone recently who said she doesn’t drink water because she hates the taste. Seriously. I didn’t want to make fun of her because that’s rude and … well, she’s gorgeous. But it still boggles my mind.
First, she really dislikes the taste? Unless you live in Flint, Mich., water has no taste. I’ve done “taste tests” between tap water and Brita water and bottled water. I can’t tell the difference.
Second, we live in Albuquerque, a city with an elevation* of 5,340 feet above sea level. It’s imperative that we constantly drink water. Especially in the summer, I didn’t know you could survive here without constantly drinking water. She doesn’t drink it, at all?
* My friend Tom gets really annoyed when people interchange elevation and altitude. Elevation is at the surface. Altitude means in the air, like on a plane. This sidebar is for you, Tom.
If you don’t live in a city like Denver or Albuquerque, you probably don’t think that much about altitude and the need for hydration. I know that I didn’t previously think about it much. I drank water when I was out of breath, or when I was hungover, or to hydrate in advance because I was likely to be hungover later.
Then I moved to Albuquerque and it’s constantly on my mind. Every trip to the urinal is an immediate reminder of how much water I’ve been drinking. If it’s clear, I relax. If it’s a light yellow, I immediately look for water to drink. If it’s a darker yellow, I panic, guzzle water, chew on hydration tablets, and put more hydration tablets into water.
I go to sleep with water next to my bed. I immediately drink water when I wake up.
I’ve thought a lot about when did hydration become such a constant in our collective lives?
Back in the day – and I really, truly, mean back in the day – it was necessary to drink wine more than water for health reasons because water wasn’t all that healthy. Well, maybe that’s true. The internet is divided. Some insist it’s true. Others call that rubbish. I don’t know about you, but I’ve always considered Wine Investment as my leading source for hydration history.
In ancient Rome and Greece, people didn’t have a great deal of choice when it came to quenching their thirst, with only a few kinds of fruit juice, warm goat’s milk or stagnant water on the menu. If they had the opportunity to sweeten the otherwise foul-tasting water, they would, and so wine was used to purify and add flavour.
In fact, wine had to be cut with water. In such a warm climate grape juice would ferment all by itself unless it was drunk straight after harvest, and without any decent preservation techniques it would quickly turn into a thick, dark, syrupy gloop. Adding water was the only way to make it palatable.
Still, despite their relative ignorance when it came to preservation, these civilisations were very well aware of the dangers of over-indulgence. Babylonian King Hammurabi issued laws that restricted the consumption and sale of alcohol, while China’s Emperor Chung K’iang would execute drunks to show government disapproval.
And thus these communities faced a dilemma: wine provided a safer and more sanitary drinking option than bog water or curdling milk, but excess consumption was also not without its dangers. As such, it seems that the ancients dealt with the issue by mixing wine and water to prevent intoxication. Homer’s Odyssey mentions a ratio of 20 parts water to one part wine, Pliny states a ratio of eight parts water to one part wine was the norm, and Athenaeus writes in a play that three parts water to one part wine was customary. Regardless of the chemistry, drinking undiluted wine was considered scandalous, and some Rabbis in Jewish society would refuse to bless wine that hadn’t been mixed with water.
These days, we’re bombarded with messages about staying hydrated, drinking water, at least eight glasses a day. At least, a bunch of Instagram Influencers keep telling me. It must be true.
I’m mostly a Brita guy these days. I’ve probably needed to change the filter on my Brita for over a month. I know this. Yet I still insist on pouring tap water into the Brita before I drink. I know this is silly. But so is bottled water.
It’s fine. Tap water is checked more often than bottled water for safety levels these days. I have a friend who is an ardent believer in tap water. He came to visit me once, asked about the quality of tap water in my city, and insisted on only drinking tap water all weekend. (My friends are way more interesting than your friends.)
I was an 80s kid. We drank water from the garden hose if we were thirsty. I don’t ever recall my parents reminding me to drink water to stay hydrated. Seriously. Not once. I know we had shared water bottles in youth sports, but the only time it was used was after circling the bases and scoring a run.
We know that hydration is important. But when did this start? The internet says it was the 90s. I’m not so sure. I went to college in the early 90s. I only drank water to save money at lunch. None of my friends ever walked around campus with a water bottle. It had to be the late 90s or the 2000s.
Now I have water bottles everywhere. I think the marketing of “you must drink water” has impacted me more than any other marketing.
My best New Year’s Resolution was to stop eating fast food.
I went the whole year without any fast food. Sometimes, I went hungry to achieve this. A bunch of times, I spent way more money to eat food that was made quickly, but wasn’t fast food. A lot of times, I went to the grocery store instead.
I kept the resolution for another year. And another. Then a decade. Then another. It started in the early 2000s. It’s been two decades and I rarely eat fast food now. I’ll have In-N-Out about once every two years. I eat a bunch of breakfast burritos and I suppose that’s cheating.
But overwhelming, within reason, it’s just my new normal.
My second-best New Year’s Resolution was to make my bed every day. I know. I know. Isn’t this a given? Not for me. I got into a bad habit. I spend a lot of time in hotel rooms and the maids make the bed. I just got lazy. I’ve got a streak of about five years now of making my bed.
The New Year’s Resolution that I’ve tried the most is to floss every day. The longest I’ve gone is a few months. I should try that one again. Pardon me while I go floss.
Two-thirds of the earth is covered in water.
The other third is covered by Garry Maddox.
That quote is probably the highest compliment that can be given to an outfielder in baseball. It’s been attributed to both former Phillies announcer Ralph Kiner and former Philadelphia Daily News columnist Ray Didinger. [If I ever come up with a quote that good, I’d pay people to make sure my name always appeared in the top results on Google.]
The other day, after my morning ritual of playing Immaculate Grid, I went down a deep rabbit hole about Garry Maddox. I learned a lot.
When he discovered that his signing bonus by the San Francisco Giants was drastically lower than his peers, he asked for more money, was refused by the Giants, and quit the sport.
Maddox enrolled in the Army and spent 22 months in Vietnam. He wanted to leave the Army to care after his ill father, but needed a civilian job. He told the Army he used to play a little baseball. He asked the Giants if he could restart his baseball career and they agreed.
While in Vietnam, Maddox develop a skin rash – possibly Agent Orange – and shaving was so painful it’s the reason he grew out his trademark beard. He played 15 years in the majors, was a huge fan favorite in Philadelphia, won the Gold Glove award eight times, and a World Series with the Phillies in 1980.
After his playing career, Maddox became an extremely successful businessman. Among his many endeavors, he was part owner of a company that sold concessions at sporting events.
So if you ever bought an overpriced bottle of water at a concert or sporting event, Garry Maddox thanks you.
Good read. I agree on tap water (and if it's municipal it probably has fluoride added), but Fiji bottled water is noticeably better than others.
You'll find the need for water increases as you get older. My need became mandatory when I developed health issues. I still can't drink straight water until I have to. It has to be flavored, & without sugar. I miss water aerobics. I used to love that class. Since I pretty much can't swim, I don't dobit anymore. Plus my self confidence is at an all time low anymore & wearing a swimsuit is not on my agenda. But kudos to you!