Making space for visitors
Tales of being a visitor at work, sporting events, and weekend fiestas
I went to a yoga class yesterday, choosing a gym further from my house, because I like a particular instructor’s style. When I walked in the studio, I saw the dreaded.
A substitute. Ugh.
Immediately, my thought was whether I could gracefully leave without it being obvious. But I was already there, so I stayed, and my dedication for the class was giving people a chance.
This is a post about being the psychology of being a visitor, even when you otherwise feel right at home.
At a new job. At a sporting event. At the gym. At a weekend trip.
One of the most memorable compliments of my life was given by a total stranger who said he didn’t initially want to give me a chance.
It was my first year as the embedded reporter and co-host of Post Game Dodger Talk for 790 KABC and the Dodgers Radio Network. When I was hired, this guy – and a lot of other Dodgers fans – read from my background that I was from Northern California, used to cover the Giants, and had written a book about Barry Bonds.
Why would the Dodgers and their flagship radio station hire me?
I knew there were a lot of people in SoCal who I’d need to win over – not just fans, but others in the press box who wanted the job I got.
I’ll never know how many of them I won over, but I did this Dodgers fan. I’ll never forget it. It was a few months into my first year on the job. I was near the dugout, getting ready for my postgame interview on the field. The guy called out my name. He had a friendly demeanor, so I walked over to him.
He told me to my face, “I didn’t want to like you. I read about your background. But you’re good on the radio. Keep up the great job.”
We’re halfway through January and the gyms are still full of visitors trying to make themselves better.
If you complain about a bunch of new people at your gym/studio at the start of the year, you’re the worst.
If you do anything to make them feel unwelcome, or self conscious, you’re the worst of the worst.
When I reflect on being a NorCal native working in SoCal for the famed Dodgers, the list is long for why my transition as a visitor was smooth. But it starts with Ken Levine. Ken was my co-host. I like to say that Ken was my radio dad.
The main thing I learned from Ken was the importance of having fun, the theatre of the mind on radio. I came from a newspaper background and was hell-bent on proving myself through a Journalism mindset – stats, facts, and more stats. What I learned from Ken was we could do both. We could inform and entertain.
My credibility came because of the natural chemistry that Ken and I immediately found on the radio. It was a damn good show. We were both writers, different writers, but it started there. Ken is one of the most accomplished TV writers of all-time. I knew a little about his background before we met. I remember the first time I looked at his IMDB and was just in awe.
But my credibility was also because of the way Ken welcomed me in the press box. Everyone already knew Ken. He’d been a Dodger Talk host multiple times before he was paired with me. Plus, Ken is damn funny, and everyone is always in a better mood when we’re cracking up.
I tried to do the same, and hopefully did, when Joe Block became my partner for my final year on the job.
Those were four special years of my life. It could have been a disaster.
I was so terrified of failure I lived in an apartment that was so empty a half dozen people could easily do yoga inside it. I didn’t want to acquire a bunch of things that I’d have to move if I failed. It was two full years before I actually bought real furniture.
These days, I have a complicated relationship with the Dodgers. I was taught to chant “Beat LA” growing up in the Bay, yet the best years of my life were living in LA. I wrote a book about the 1988 Dodgers, the team that broke my heart as a teenager.
When I moved to Albuquerque to become the play-by-play announcer for the Isotopes, we were a Dodgers affiliate. Then they left us feeling blue when they moved their affiliate to Oklahoma City.
While I’m shaming people at the gym for being jerks, if you can make a reservation for a lane at the swimming pool, you can also undo your reservation if you’re not going to make it.
Come on, people, stop being so rude. Some of us have a 2024 theme we’re trying to maintain.
I felt like a visitor on Saturday when I went to The Pit to watch my beloved alma mater, San Diego State, play the hometown New Mexico Lobos.
It’s funny the way the mind plays tricks on you. Or maybe it’s the tricks that sports play on your mind.
I’ve now lived in New Mexico twice as long as I attended SDSU. I used to broadcast Lobos women’s basketball games. I’ve been at The Pit easily over a hundred times, way more than SDSU’s Viejas Arena.
But I wasn’t working. I was a fan, a fan of the visiting team, a team that’s respected but also hated here in Burque, and felt the anxiety of being a visitor. The Aztecs came to town ranked 19th, coming off an appearance in the national championship game, and Lobos fans were pumped for a game broadcast nationally on Big Boy CBS.
My friend Brandon and I went to Fiestas before the game for breakfast. Lobos fans started the party early. They were doing shots of Patron, and lots of them, before the Noon tipoff.
Inside the Pit, it was sold out and electric. I was impressed with the quantity of fans who followed the memo on the “Stripe Out.” It was the Lobos largest crowd since 2009, when “Kenny and Josh” were talking about Manny Ramirez on Dodger Talk.
As for the game, uhhh … the less I write the better. I look forward to the rematch in San Diego. This is a super fun year to watch Mountain West Conference basketball.
Cheers to the Lobos fans for creating an atmosphere that makes college basketball so special.
Astros third baseman Alex Bregman was at the game, an Albuquerque native visiting his hometown that he represents with pride whenever possible. Bregman is easily the best active baseball player from New Mexico, and will likely surpass Hall of Famer Ralph Kiner as the best the state has ever produced.
When Bregman was shown on the videoboard, he got booed. His hometown booed him.
I still feel like was hallucinating this. Maybe I was. [If I was, please tell me.]
When it happened, Brandon and others around me simply said, “this is a Dodgers town.”
And Dodgers fans are obviously still sore about Bregman and the Astros sign-stealing scandal from 2017.
A couple weeks ago, I went to Las Vegas to celebrate the birthday of my late friend, Greg Block.
I joined four of Greg’s friends that I barely knew. Seriously. I’d never met two of the guys, Jeff and James. I remember talking to the third guy, Brian, at Greg’s funeral. The fourth guy, Matt, I’d gotten to know pretty well over the years from being with Greg.
As the visitor in the group, I didn’t know what to expect. I knew these were Greg’s good buddies, from after college, and they liked to wear outrageous suits for special occasions. That was enough for me.
Still, it can be awkward going on essentially a “man date” for an entire weekend. I didn’t want them to regret their generous invitation either.
Turns out, it was a blast. They were extremely welcoming and so much fun. It was sad, yet cathartic, to share our stories about Greg.
I feel like I have three new friends and one closer friend … and yes, our bright outfits were a huge hit on Fremont Street.
Cheers to being a visitor, giving visitors a chance, and letting visitors give you a chance.
But seriously, undo your swimming pool lane reservations if you’re not going to show up.